Daft Slags Do...East to West

We left Singapore on the morning of New Year's day on a coach bound for Kuala Lumpur. The coach was comfortable and took about 5 hours, although there was a fat man next to me (Jack) who was mouth open snoring incredibly loud and only woke up to splutter all over the place and eat smelly food. I also caught him washing his hands in the urinal water...NICE.

On arrival in KL we walked from the coach drop off point to our hotel sweating cobs. Unfortunately when we arrived they told us we had to be moved for the night as the air conditioning had broke but we think they just double booked. Their sister hotel was nice enough but right in the middle of everything with motorbikes revving until the early hours. Also someone on our floor brought a load of Durian fruit back to their room, if you don't know what it is it f*cking stinks and was described by a famous food writer as follows “its odor is best described as…turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away." The kind security man came and Febreeze'd the hallway :-)

Right outside the hotel is the bussling night market and it is pretty crazy busy with food and stalls all down the road. There was a man with no legs but a Karaoke machine tied to his wheelchair...that fella can belt out a tune. We brought some breakfast stuff and headed back to the hotel for a good interrupted night's sleep.

Arising the next morning we headed back to the original hotel and got settled in. It's pretty nice and the outside yard is a good break from the surrounding pandemonium. To save some cash we walked up to City Park and the Petronas Towers for the afternoon and spent a good few hours in and out the Petronas shopping centre to cool down, the gardens and the tower are pleasant though. After which we bought instant noodles and headed back to the hotel for a spot of lunch and a snooze.

We headed out for the evening in to the hustle and bustle for a spot of shopping. They've just built a new shopping mall and the Christmas decorations are spectacular tack tack tack!!!

On our final day we just mooched around the locale but went to the mall for lunch...NANDOS £3.50 FOR CHICKEN WITH SIDE & DRINK CRAZY!!!

We got scrubbed up for the evening and walked to the Sky Bar at the top of the Trader's Hotel Tower for a drink. The bar overlooks the financial district, Petronas Towers and central park which looks good all lit up. The bar is on the 33rd floor and opens to the sky so when it started lagging it down the water cascaded into the central swimming pool of the bar. One last trip around the night market and the best corn on the cob of my life later we're back at the hotel before we get up tomorrow to continue the trip onto Georgetown on the island of Penang.

Until then...Peace

Sentosa is a small gated island south of Singapore mainland. It's motto is "the state of fun" as long as you follow the sixty five million rules that accompany your every move. There are several security check points to pass through to be allowed onto this privileged part of the world. Sentosa is essentially a pleasure island for the mega rich, with maids walking dogs, kids and well anything really - all day long. Pretty much all of the landscape i.e bridges and rocks/boulders are hollow. It makes you feel like you're in the Truman show.

Most of the very large houses remain empty (however another theory is that all the maids have murdered their owners - they look like those kind of houses. Think Ex-Machina / Gone Girl). One house had been built in an Egyptian style complete with full size Anubis statues whose eyes lit up red of an evening. Someone actually built that for serious and someone actually lives there. Mind blown.

Nevertheless we thoroughly enjoyed the outlandish luxury it had to offer.

After a 12 hour flight (we were lucky as it was meant to be 13 hours) we arrived to hot & sweaty Singapore and headed straight to the land of nod. We made it out for an evening Christmas meal with the family which was lovely. This was on the Marina of Sentosa (again you can only access this if you have a pass card to get onto the complex - crazy!)

Saturday & Sunday we mainly relaxed around the infinity pool at the apartment. We took a walk down to the residents beach which is man made (they import the sand!) Here was the most southern tip of continental Asia. We were slack and didn't take any photos of the beach.

Monday was pretty much the same however we ventured out late afternoon / evening to Little India - an absolutely manic place! We went for a curry (how could you not?!) that were served on banana leaves - best curry Jack's ever eaten to date.

Tuesday was a trip out to Orchard Road - think Oxford Street on speed. Off the top of my head there were roughly ten very large shopping centres up and down the road, if not more. Take a wrong turn and you end up trapped in the never ending maze of yet another shopping centre. We must have spent about three hours working out how to get out of these things! Whilst on Orchard Road we booked in to see Star Wars at the Imax - EPIC!

Wednesday was another day out at Clarke Quay & China Town and Jack went on the extremely high cable car from Sentosa to the main island which halfway through actually went through a tall building!
In the evening we were treated to the night zoo / safari which in true Singapore style was packed out but we got to see everything towards the end as it quietened down.

Thursday was a much needed rest around the pool and then a New Years dinner down at the marina front, We then headed back to the apartment to play games and welcome in the new year. As it was raining we watched the fireworks from the marina and docks in the distance followed by a good 20 minutes of live bagpipe music from a man on the balcony of the apartment opposite!

Next stop Malaysia...

J & K x

See you kids in 7 months - we're off!

Very glad that our honeymoon has finally arrived and we'll be jetting off tomorrow morning on a 13 hour flight (ugh - sad face) to SINGAPORE (happy face)

This is us all prepped to go - crap photo courtesy of I-phone. Promise all the rest will be better!

Jack has a pea head

This is my whole life. (Kiwi)

Anyway, not going to bore you with anything else, as nothing has happened yet. But it will!

Merry Christmas - we love you!

Jack & Kiwi x